A friend of mine has a friend at school who is diagnosed with depression. When her mother found out about this friend and the diagnosis he had, she wanted to do anything possible to keep her child “safe” from the illness. She forced her daughter to end all communication with her friend, even going as far as sifting through her phone periodically to make sure she was not talking to him behind her back. She thought that depression was some sort of transmittable disease as if by talking to someone who had depression, her daughter would contract it herself. Do you know what’s ironic about this story? A couple of years back, the mother herself suffered from postpartum depression.
Depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act, affecting 1 out of every 5 youth around the world. There is a multitude of ways depression can manifest, from your brain’s biochemistry to your environment to even genetics. It is not, however, an airborne disease. In the western world, there are several initiatives in place to increase awareness about mental illness, with everything from walks to even a whole week dedicated to the awareness of it. But even after all that’s done, if fear of depression exists in parents of teenagers in the western world, then what perception would caretakers have about depression and other mental illnesses in places where the stigma isn’t even combatted?
As a part of the Global Encounters camp, I had the opportunity to visit Hunza, Pakistan. Hunza is an extraordinarily beautiful but secluded community, and there is not a lot of awareness about the severity of mental illness. I wanted to investigate, specifically, how caretakers of teenagers in the community viewed the idea of mental instability. I focused my efforts on those interacting with students of the Aga Khan Higher Secondary School (AKHSS), one of the best and most highly competitive schools in the area.
I got the opportunity to talk to the father of a student at AKHSS. He claimed that he was close to his daughter, but after speaking to him, it did not seem like his daughter confided in him much. I posted several questions about the workload of AKHSS and about the stresses his daughter faced as a student. Each question was shrugged away. She is a very dedicated student. She is in so many extracurriculars. She doesn’t get any stress. From whatever angle I took, he never mentioned a single flaw in his daughter. In his mind, he was holding her to a very high standard. That is a very dangerous mindset to have, because not only would it make it hard for the parent to accept any imperfections of their child, it also makes it harder for the child to come to their parents about any of their issues.
According to the principal of AKHSS, students in the 11th and 12th grade are the ones under the most stress. Starting in 11th grade, students are experiencing more stress, not only from the increased class workload but from having to take more standardized tests and the pressure of choosing a university to attend after 12th grade. As a result, some students have been forced to drop extracurriculars they were once passionate about, and have started adapting unhealthy eating habits, and skipping out of required sports time.
The administration, noticing the issue, have recently started initiatives to combat stress and mental illness. They have started bringing in a counselor every two months for students to talk to if needed, as well as bringing in individuals that speak to the students about instilling healthy ways to deal with stress.
Although there is still much more that can be done, this is a great start for the school. But it is not just the school who needs to be mindful of students’ mental well being. It is also up to the parents to be better equipped with handling the stress of their children. To start off, they need to be open to the fact that their child could be under stress, and in need of help. If their child does express their concerns, listen with interest in what they are saying, as it might have been hard for them to open up. And finally, the parents will need to learn to think before they respond. This can be done by softening any strong reactions they have and expressing their opinion without minimizing their child’s.
The president of the local Ismaili council mentioned during a panel discussion with our group explained that one of the main problems they are facing is the suicide rate of the youth in the community. This is not just another statistic. While spending time at the Diamond Jubilee School in Altit, I was told by the staff about an attempted suicide by an 11th grader and former student at DJ Altit. If a person’s mental health is handled poorly, this is how it can end. Combatting this would not even require drastic measures. Check in on those close to you, ask how they are doing or if they want to talk. Be that person who listens or who offers the shoulder to cry upon. Doing this may not seem like much, but it’s sometimes surprising how little actions can go a long way.